boulevard of broken dreams by gwarf
"You're not alone... don't pretend to be"
Lately it seems I've become more reclusive. Have you ever realized that a person can be surrounded by others and still be isolated? Having most of your time consumed by homework and work, while others have more liberty to seek leisure pleasures, definately isolates person. But even since being released from a rush of assignments, I am still withdrawn. While I am trying not to avoid being with others, because I know I need them--we need each other, even if it is just to be in the same room together and that is all-- there is still this strange seperation.
Becoming withdrawn is not always a bad thing, at least I don't think so, it can allow for comtemplation and maybe becoming more observant. Which in a sense is appropriate for me at this point, since I am headed towards a summer of spending time listening to God. But we all can be tempted to allow being reclusive to slip into feeling alone, tempted to think that no one understands how we think, what we are going through, or even to think that we are just inadequate at relating or explaining our thoughts. From there we are tempted to act on those feelings by neglecting our need for companionship. Neglecting companionship is sometimes different than avoiding people, it can also happen when we spend time with others and completely abstain from engaging in the lives around us; remaining distant and impersonal in conversation, for example. I am tempted to slip into this, and as I was thinking about it, 1 Corithians 10:13 once again was revived in my mind, this time to remind me that we are not alone, even someone as odd and apparantly random (I've been referred to as such) as myself. We are not alone in our afflictions, thoughts, or experiences, and we're especially not alone in feeling alone; we shouldn't act as though we are.