open your eyes by gilad

Is it normal to think of yourself as a jerk?

I've been told in the past that I'm too hard on myself and I'd like to think that I've improved on that. Still there are a lot of days when I stop myself in ponderings or after leaving a sitution and think "wow, jo, you're a really big jerk."

Someone this past week related to me something that he read, that how we think of ourselves is how we will think of others. That puzzled me, I don't think of everybody as jerks (... just the ones that are) despite the fact that I call my friends jerkface. But seriously, I don't hold people around me to nearly as high a standard as I myself feel held to. I think of others in the same light as I think of myself, I tend to be a little harsher when it comes to examining and identifying my faults. But I thought that was normal.

Anyhow, does anyone else think of themselves as a jerk? Or do you tend to think of others as you think about yourself?

pass by by pinardi

completely random ponderings and some cute facts

Not always, but every once in awhile...

You should watch out for the quiet people, they tend to have better observation skills than the ones that spend all their energy talking. They'll see things and don't let on that they know... very sneaky like.

And also, do not underestimate the happy-go-lucky people, who seem to be nothing but goofy. They may have a serious side that can sober your first impressions. (ie. Vash the Stampede... seriously everyone needs to watch Trigun)

People can't stand it when a person can speak with uncertainty. They would rather hear a person speak with absolute sureness in their voice, whether or not they right or truthful, than hear a person speak with the possibility of error in their answer. I honestly wish I could speak with uncertainty more often, I think that I think I know more than I really do, maybe if I spoke with uncertainty than I'd realize how very little I do know.

On that thought playing dumb seems to be a great tool for learning. Ok maybe not playing dumb, but more like not boasting what you do know. If someone thinks you don't know something or don't understand then they'll explain it for you. Quite often they'll look at it in a way you didn't think of or their knowledege will supercede yours in some way (even if a small way). So sometimes you're possibly better off letting others explain things to you that you may already know.

I found out that if we were to literally translate what amen means in Greek, it would be '"mmhmm." Like a black woman sitting in church (imagine it in your heads with me, please) on a stuffy sunday morning, a firey preacher up in the pulpit hitting those right points, she's got her hand raised in the air, nodding her head and saying "mmmhmmm, that's right..." Something like that.

In other news I have 'made my peace' with the upcoming semester. I'm still enjoying my summer, and haven't quite gotten the answers I'm hoping for, but I'm not apprehensive towards people coming back anymore.

Also I got my hair cut, I didn't know what I wanted done, I just knew that I needed to do something soon, cause it was really annoying (and really fluffy). So I went to see my friend JuneAnn, who is a hair dresser. It's a lot shorter than I anticipated, but I knew JuneAnn knew what she was doing, and told her to fix my hair. And fix it she did. I look hot. Really. I also look like a pixie. Or as my nieghbour and his fiance would say, I look like a forest nymph. I think I like that, it sounds mischevious... which is fitting...

crossing in reflection by coxi

It has been nearly 3 weeks since I've posted. There are riots going on in the streets of Caronport. People have gathered from all over the world to vent their anger about my slacking in the blogging. If you lean in close to your computer screen you can even smell the smoke of the burning torches. You can tell these people aren't experienced in good old fashioned rioting, some guy just lit the persons clothes next to him on fire... Lift the torch, man, lift it up. Well they get an A for effort.


Anyhow.


I don't think my blog is even close to being that popular, but I was reminded that it has indeed been quite a bit of time since I've posted.


I don't have any deep thoughts. The school semester begins in 3 weeks and I just wish I had more time. I have a lot on my heart and mind. Things that I'm trying to figure out and just don't know the answer, or things where the answer that I've always known just doesn't seem to suffice in putting me at ease. I think this is partially why I'm not ready for this semester, I don't want it to come while I'm still praying and figuring these things out. Trying to enter the school year with heavy things on your mind doesn't work so well. I suppose it's going to come anyhow, that's how life is, I've just got to utilize the time that I do have.

Usually when there is something weighing on my mind I'm pretty good at putting it aside, with going on with life, laughing, finding joy still around me. And for the most part I can do it here too. But I'm finding that working my evening shift at the pilgrim is making me incredibly unhappy and discouraged. It could be because the end of the day is that time when you want to sit down and reflect on the day, or at least rest, and instead I'm mopping floors and trying to balance out. I also have more difficulty thinking in straight, I become more lost in my own thoughts, more disjointed, than I normally am. It's really frustrating.


I still haven't gotten any photos from my brothers wedding that was over a month ago, but my aunt did send me this digital picture. My mom is sending me a package soon with pictures from it, then I will show you more.
My adorable (not so) little niece is the flower girl, she's going to be a basketball player when she grows up (and my brother, nathan, is the guy holding that girl in the big white dress). My other brother, nick, is the first gentlemen on the left.