Monday, March 28, 2005

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boulevard of broken dreams by gwarf

"You're not alone... don't pretend to be"

Lately it seems I've become more reclusive. Have you ever realized that a person can be surrounded by others and still be isolated? Having most of your time consumed by homework and work, while others have more liberty to seek leisure pleasures, definately isolates person. But even since being released from a rush of assignments, I am still withdrawn. While I am trying not to avoid being with others, because I know I need them--we need each other, even if it is just to be in the same room together and that is all-- there is still this strange seperation.

Becoming withdrawn is not always a bad thing, at least I don't think so, it can allow for comtemplation and maybe becoming more observant. Which in a sense is appropriate for me at this point, since I am headed towards a summer of spending time listening to God. But we all can be tempted to allow being reclusive to slip into feeling alone, tempted to think that no one understands how we think, what we are going through, or even to think that we are just inadequate at relating or explaining our thoughts. From there we are tempted to act on those feelings by neglecting our need for companionship. Neglecting companionship is sometimes different than avoiding people, it can also happen when we spend time with others and completely abstain from engaging in the lives around us; remaining distant and impersonal in conversation, for example. I am tempted to slip into this, and as I was thinking about it, 1 Corithians 10:13 once again was revived in my mind, this time to remind me that we are not alone, even someone as odd and apparantly random (I've been referred to as such) as myself. We are not alone in our afflictions, thoughts, or experiences, and we're especially not alone in feeling alone; we shouldn't act as though we are.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

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the graeae ii by nineveh

So it's another night at Joe's Place... yes I'm writing a blog while at Joe's. What can I say, I'm a slacker... (Joe's is the youth centre in Moose Jaw that I volunteer at) The school year is three weeks from being over. Students have, in the midst of their last assignments, started the counting down the days to the beginning of a summer spent somewhere else. For once I have no such countdown, and though in past years I had rather disliked having to pack my life up to transport it somewhere else for 4 months, now not leaving holds a slight sadness.
While I know there will be familiar faces here, Caronport is definately close to desolate in the summer. Strange to think but this summer will be much different than past summers... much different. For one, I'm not in Ontario. And two, I've never experienced the extreme dry heat (Ontario is all about the heavy humidity). The reality of the uncertainty and the newness that this summer will hold is starting to set in. I am being perfectly honest when I say I'm not scared, and I'm not worried. But I know this summer will be strange, and more than probably will be tough. I'm not planning on keeping my net connection after May, but I'll make sure to keep you updated, possibly weekly, through the library.

Monday, March 21, 2005

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So after two weeks of much pressure, working as many extra hours as I can in the caf and ripping off 5 papers (one of which was my philosophy thesis defense... ouch, that one hurt), fighting with my computer to get rid of viruses, and fighting off a few viruses myself, I am back. I am not 'fully operational'... but still quite potent... (ok that was a Star Wars reference, I have crossed the line into random nerdness, we can thank my brothers and the multiple Saturdays we spent watching those movies... and if you don't get it, I apologize. Enough rambling I will give you potential...)

So I was pondering the age old dispute of is the glass half full or half empty, and how perspective plays upon all that we encounter. As I was thinking of how anything could ever seem both hopelessly optimistic and yet incredibly pessimistic, I wondered, is it ever possible to only see the glass as half?
Any person, and in fact most persons, would like to think themselves a realist, and that maybe from their viewpoint the world seems so much clearer, well at least to them it does. And there are those that can manage to see both points of view that the empty half has and the full half has. Then they try to reconcile the two sides and wish they would just stop fighting and talk it out...
But, is it ever possible to see that glass as half?

I'll let your brains munch on that, or at least let your fingers type a response, while I work on constructing another post... many things have been puttering around in my brain, maybe I can get one of those thoughts written down.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

OK, faithful blogger readers, and not so faithful blogger readers... so everyone... Right, so, I have been given a genius idea; a friend of mine has decided to have a mailing list for those people who are interesting in reading her blog, so when she puts up a new post she sends out a quick email saying it has been updated.
Since I have not been overly frequent in blogging, or at least not as frequent as I may have once been, and since you all are very busy I thought this may be a good thing for 'life of a not so ordinary jo.'
I figure this way you can have the comforting knowledge that when something new and hot comes up here you will know about it, instead of every day checking the site, screaming at your computer "GOSH... Why doesn't this girl ever UPDATE!" (sorry if you can't stand Napolean Dynamite). I'm also toying with the idea of emailing when new poems have been put up on 'tell me no lies' since it kind of gets lost in the shuffle of everything else... I dunno, tell me what you think and if interested, send me an email (, or slap a comment on this, and make sure I have the email address that works best for you!
ok, that is all...