vanillia courtyard by severin m. koller

moving up and going on

Grad is only a week and a half in the past, and yet it seems like it's been a long time. The feeling of summer is lacking, maybe because I'm still here, or maybe its because not everyone has left yet; it feels rather like mod week, a really quiet mod week. But this is good, easing into the summer here sounds like a much better idea than being surrounded by a lot of students one day and finding oneself in a ghost town the next. As people have left I've inherited a large assortment of plants to keep my seedlings company, so the house is looking mighty green. We also finally got kitchen chairs to replace those hideous ones that we've been meaning to replace since the beginning of the year. This is feat of extradinary greatness. We've acquired other things with the coming of the end of the year, but there was one special item that has come my way, which is a bike. It's old, it's got issues, but it's mine. I've got wheels.

As well as scoring on the free stuff I actually did some shopping for myself. I went shoe shopping the other day, which I haven't done in a long time. I have been in desperate need of some good running shoes, and also needed something for my brother's wedding. I bought a new handbag since vincent and cady ate the handle off my last one. And I have also been investing here and there in garden tools. I have a hand spade, a little hoe, got some topsoil for potting needs and to mix with the clay in my backyard, and I even got a new hose head to go on the hose that we found in our trailers when we moved in. So there has been lots of fun and new things all around.

There were a few days where I was slightly worried about employment for the summer, there are a lot of people looking for hours around here it seems and not enough work them all. Anyhow I was beginning to wonder if I would have enough to support myself, let alone saving up for the fall semester, and wondering why God would ask me to stay here with no means of providing. But as warded off panic by actually talking to God about it, and he reminded me that provided I was willing to be obedient he would provide. A few days later I got handed a multitude of shifts and ended up working 30 hours that week, with 35 waiting for me in the next. Unfortunately that amount of hours couldn't continue, since there are many others to employ, but I had made the effort of inquiring about work at the establishment at the front of Caronport. Most of you know about The Point, which is overseen by Sodexho, the same company that runs the caf where I work now. I didn't expect much, just hoped for a few shifts a week (especially for when my hours dipped below 20 hours at the caf). After some phone tag and an almost goose hunt in Caronport, the definate answer came today.

Starting Sunday I will be working in the convience store 8pm-2am Sunday through Thursday. Which, by coincidence, allows me to be available for Joe's Place on the weekends, and go to Church. I didn't realize this until after talking to the manager; I didn't have to barter, beg, nor even banter for it, it was just handed to me. I know I am regularily humbled, but to be humbled and so blessed at the same time isn't a usual method (it's usually humbled and embarrassed). I wasn't quite a doubting Thomas, I knew I was supposed to be here, and while my emotions were tempted to panic my head held onto that knowledge. But still, God made my work schedule fit so appropriately with other things and still allowed me to work 30 hours a week. Enough work to support and save, and enough time to seek Him, act out His love, and study a little. God is amazing and works out His plans with such care that it shames even the smallest amount of doubt. I do not hang onto the shame, I am more overwhelmed by thankfulness, and while I will miss my friends at the caf I look foward to regular hours. And shifts that are more than 3 hours long! Some days at the caf (like the past 2 days and tomorrow) I've been working at breakfast, lunch and dinner, so from 7-9, 11-2, and 4-6:30. That can become tiresome, even in a small span of time, though I was thankful for the work. So the dishpit princess is moving up in the world, although I think working in the dishpit is less scary and sometimes more fun than other positions. So many things to mess up and people to get angry or impatient with you out there, and in the dishpit we can dance around to music and sing horribly to U2 (and of course work too); it was a nice little niche in the caf. Well maybe I could sing along to music horribly to music in the convience store. Something tells me it wouldn't amuse the customers as much as it amused my co-workers.

Well that is enough chatter, I'll bring this to a close. I've been sewing myself some summer clothes, and I've been 'contracted' to sew a coat like vash the stampede's for a friend. It's really great when the things you like to do are also functional and can bring in a little money. I think I will go and do a little more of said sewing.

cinemascope

are you listening?

As the last few weeks of school were in progress I had an observation that straddles the academic world and popular television shows; that also straddles the past and present. I have noticed that there are many of us who consider most truth to be in the ancient texts--the Bible, the desert fathers, ancient philosophers-- and there some who consider those things irrelevant to modern society; here, I find people usually respect both age old wisdom and fresh thinking. But similar to that varience in mindset I have noticed a another trend. There are some of us who remain incredibly focused on schorlarily studies making little time for entertainment; thinking that only studies hold relevance to life they steer away from tv, movies, computer games or play stations. Then there are others who find studying overrated and assignments a great waste of time which holds little relevance to real life; some of these people spend a great deal of time watching the televsion and sitting in front of their computers.

Many find themselves between the two extremes, alloting time for their studies but allowing for a good space of time to veg. However, there are still many who lean towards one side of the other. But people have been made for different purposes so will pursue different priorities (or is it that they pursue different priorities that they become made for different purposes... hmmm), my observation isn't quite so focused on the mindset as the attitude... and how that attitude can be caught unaware. I, myself, have leaned towards the former mindset of being incredibly focused on studies. Though I have watched movies and tv I never really held it in high regard, I usually see it more as a time to spend time with people than anything else (when one talks a great deal before and after, and sometimes through a show this actually can be seen as social). And I have noticed that leaning towards this side can result in an attitude of haughtiness; not only does one just not choose to watch tv in their spare time, but they can be 'above' choosing to watch tv or play video games. I have not quite hit that sort of attitude, but the possibility was there. There is a possibility of making it an object of pride, that tv, or movies only dumb us down; that instead of wasting my spare time on brainless tv shows I could enlighten myself reading novels (or working to pay off my debt... heh...).

Over this semester I have seen a classmate apply what we are learning in a class on Hebrew poetry and wisdom into how he leads worship, many would not be able to see the connection, but having been in the class and listened I can see how it connects. What we were learning in class and what we were learning from ancient texts has feasibly and unsuprisingly connected to a modern life. But I also saw this semester, which caught me unaware, was hearing a simple and deep truthful statement on a prime time television show. In a gap of my time constraints and using the excuse of social quality time I sat down and watched an episode of Lost, and yes was hooked (It is a refreshing change from the reality tv shows that have infiltrated the tv stations). And in watching this series heard a character state the line that brought on a post about a month ago. Evidences for the principles of life are accesible throughout life, not just in past life, but also present; not only in the life of great thinkers, but even in entertainment. Evidences for truth are still available in strange and curious facets. I do not by any means recommend that we should spend countless hours in front of a tv looking to media to discover truths, but I do want to ask, 'are you listening?' Would you know it if you heard or would the words slide over your consciousness like water glides over parched and dry land... being able to recount all that you've heard doesn't necessarily mean that it has sunken in, especially if a mindset, or the attitude that develops from it, stands between your head and your heart.

red astonishment by ssilence

maybe I should get dreads like these.

Anyhow, there is a new segment for Port Caron
Christian Society Soap Opera fans eat your heart out!!

about life and freedom by tyoib

Pleasant Hum Drum

I've finished my exams as of yesterday morning. I have free time now, and I'm really not sure what in the world to do with myself. OK, I do have a few ideas, and it is still busy around here as I cover shifts for other people at the caf and try see everyone before they leave.

After more than 7 months our house, which we lovingly call Ipanema, is beginning to look more like a home. Sarah bought a love seat and a coffee table which makes the living room more full, more like a living room. Nolan helped me put up one of my broken mirror art peices on the wall in the living room(and when I say helped I mean he did it, infact I wasn't even there). And on Sat Dez and I put up a few of her puzzles; one of the Notre Dame in Montreal (which I absolutely love) and another of Van Gough's starry night (which is also fabulous). So the living room is looking fuller, more like a home, on the walls and floor alike.

There are ways that the house is starting to look like a home outside of the living room; in fact it will eventually be outside of the house. I started planting last week, started growing plants inside so they will be well grown and strong by planting weekend (generally the first weekend in June... i think... is the proper planting time, it is a safe distance after the last frost, and that weekend is when the home based greenhouses, and the horticultural society, sell their excess plants). Anyhow, the prospect of having a garden is exciting, and will definately make this place seem more like a home, and I think my old plot of dirt in Ontario should be given as an inheiritance to my neice. She seems to share the love of getting things to grow, so I think she would be a most appropriate person to hand the responsibility over to. She would take care of the plants that still remain there, and add some new ones of her own.

I cooked a whole chicken for the first time on Sunday, which I am pleased to say turned out quite well. It was one of our communal dinners, where the boys next door and Sarah and I get together to have a nice dinner. Adam made the potatoes and brought a pie and we all conveined in our (full and homey) living room for what will be possibly be the second last time we have a big meal together (Our last meal will be when we get together for Adam's wedding).

So that is the pleasant hum drum, throughout these simple pleasures and finishing up classes God continues to teach me and stretch me, and my mind continues to turn on many things. At many points I've been quiet and distant, though sometimes I think I talk too much and should just stop speaking, and I've got that end of the year worn-outness that college students get. But all is well here, Ipanema is beginning to see sunnier days and will soon see the fruits (and veggies and flowers) of a properous garden.

far away by ssilence

Of Judging Wisdom and Humility

Lately I've been feeling judged, or misjudged. I guess both apply, I have to be
judged to be misjudged, but I waiver on the edge of digressing. Lately I've been
feeling judged. It could just be me, maybe I'm over sensitive, or dillusioned, but I
did say it was a feeling,and not a fact. The latest of which a friend quite flippantly
told me in the midst of a conversation that I had a huge chip on my shoulder
about guys. It hit me hard that someone who has known me for as long as he has
could know me so little. And that he handled it with such little care to cast it on me
while working at Joe's and then leave me with nothing but a smirk. Like a friend
punching you in the stomach while you're at work and then just walking away
expecting you to be able continue what you're doing like he's only just saidhello.
I will admit that there can be an impression of this about me that I didn't realize
before and that I would like to shed that. But to have a friend judge me for
appearance, to not try to understand my circumstance, just really hurts. There have
been a few incidents where I feel like others are grossly misjudging me on
appearance. Granted that will always happen, but lately it just seems a little more
often, and by people you'd hope would attempt to understand, you'd hope they'd be
forgiving.

Anyhow like any little thing in life it got me to thinking, with the aid of some readings
I have been doing. Before this had afflicted my brain, my mind had been turning on
wisdom and humility, two very general aspects of life and humanity. I've been
studying James 3 for hermeneutics, as well as reading Hobbes for philosophy,
and C.S. Lewis just because; where wisdom and humility has been popping up.It
has occurred to me, throughout enduring life's lessons, that humility is at the heart of
every lesson and wisdom the goal of it. For we are humbled when we are shown that
there is something we need to be taught, we must admit in humility that we need to be
taught (or in other words we were not so wise as we thought), and are wiser for doing
so. But the beginning problem is the diffculty in realizing that maybe we are not so
wise as we thought. Hobbes touched on wisdom in speaking of the degree in which
mankind is equal,

      That which may perhaps make such equality incredible is but a vain conceit
      of one's own wisdom, which almost all men think they have in greater degree                                   
      than the vulgar; that is, than all men but themselves, and a few others, whom  
      by fame, or for concurring with themselves, they approve. For such is the 
      nature of men that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more 
      witty, or more eloquent, or more learned, yet they will hardly believe that 
      there there be many so wise as themselves; for they see their own wit at hand, 
      and other men's at a distance. But this proveth rather that men are in that 
      point equal, than unequal.

Hobbes is perhaps exaggerating, but he has the clear point that we often like to think
ourselves wiser than maybe we really are. What does this have to do with judging
others? Well, when we think ourselves wise, we also think ourselves fit to adequately
judge others. It makes me wonder how often I have judged others and not even
realized that I am basing opinion on outward appearance. It makes me hate the
whole concept of first impressions, and trying to know a person and their character
without patience and forgiveness. There is more to think about, such as what is
wisdom, or who is wise, if all of us who think we are, maybe aren't? And of course
humility is showing up here to. What is it to be humble? But that's a discussion for
another post, or maybe for the comment section....

boulevard of broken dreams by gwarf

"You're not alone... don't pretend to be"

Lately it seems I've become more reclusive. Have you ever realized that a person can be surrounded by others and still be isolated? Having most of your time consumed by homework and work, while others have more liberty to seek leisure pleasures, definately isolates person. But even since being released from a rush of assignments, I am still withdrawn. While I am trying not to avoid being with others, because I know I need them--we need each other, even if it is just to be in the same room together and that is all-- there is still this strange seperation.

Becoming withdrawn is not always a bad thing, at least I don't think so, it can allow for comtemplation and maybe becoming more observant. Which in a sense is appropriate for me at this point, since I am headed towards a summer of spending time listening to God. But we all can be tempted to allow being reclusive to slip into feeling alone, tempted to think that no one understands how we think, what we are going through, or even to think that we are just inadequate at relating or explaining our thoughts. From there we are tempted to act on those feelings by neglecting our need for companionship. Neglecting companionship is sometimes different than avoiding people, it can also happen when we spend time with others and completely abstain from engaging in the lives around us; remaining distant and impersonal in conversation, for example. I am tempted to slip into this, and as I was thinking about it, 1 Corithians 10:13 once again was revived in my mind, this time to remind me that we are not alone, even someone as odd and apparantly random (I've been referred to as such) as myself. We are not alone in our afflictions, thoughts, or experiences, and we're especially not alone in feeling alone; we shouldn't act as though we are.

the graeae ii by nineveh

So it's another night at Joe's Place... yes I'm writing a blog while at Joe's. What can I say, I'm a slacker... (Joe's is the youth centre in Moose Jaw that I volunteer at) The school year is three weeks from being over. Students have, in the midst of their last assignments, started the counting down the days to the beginning of a summer spent somewhere else. For once I have no such countdown, and though in past years I had rather disliked having to pack my life up to transport it somewhere else for 4 months, now not leaving holds a slight sadness.
While I know there will be familiar faces here, Caronport is definately close to desolate in the summer. Strange to think but this summer will be much different than past summers... much different. For one, I'm not in Ontario. And two, I've never experienced the extreme dry heat (Ontario is all about the heavy humidity). The reality of the uncertainty and the newness that this summer will hold is starting to set in. I am being perfectly honest when I say I'm not scared, and I'm not worried. But I know this summer will be strange, and more than probably will be tough. I'm not planning on keeping my net connection after May, but I'll make sure to keep you updated, possibly weekly, through the library.

HALF

So after two weeks of much pressure, working as many extra hours as I can in the caf and ripping off 5 papers (one of which was my philosophy thesis defense... ouch, that one hurt), fighting with my computer to get rid of viruses, and fighting off a few viruses myself, I am back. I am not 'fully operational'... but still quite potent... (ok that was a Star Wars reference, I have crossed the line into random nerdness, we can thank my brothers and the multiple Saturdays we spent watching those movies... and if you don't get it, I apologize. Enough rambling I will give you potential...)

So I was pondering the age old dispute of is the glass half full or half empty, and how perspective plays upon all that we encounter. As I was thinking of how anything could ever seem both hopelessly optimistic and yet incredibly pessimistic, I wondered, is it ever possible to only see the glass as half?
Any person, and in fact most persons, would like to think themselves a realist, and that maybe from their viewpoint the world seems so much clearer, well at least to them it does. And there are those that can manage to see both points of view that the empty half has and the full half has. Then they try to reconcile the two sides and wish they would just stop fighting and talk it out...
But, is it ever possible to see that glass as half?

I'll let your brains munch on that, or at least let your fingers type a response, while I work on constructing another post... many things have been puttering around in my brain, maybe I can get one of those thoughts written down.

OK, faithful blogger readers, and not so faithful blogger readers... so everyone... Right, so, I have been given a genius idea; a friend of mine has decided to have a mailing list for those people who are interesting in reading her blog, so when she puts up a new post she sends out a quick email saying it has been updated.
Since I have not been overly frequent in blogging, or at least not as frequent as I may have once been, and since you all are very busy I thought this may be a good thing for 'life of a not so ordinary jo.'
I figure this way you can have the comforting knowledge that when something new and hot comes up here you will know about it, instead of every day checking the site, screaming at your computer "GOSH... Why doesn't this girl ever UPDATE!" (sorry if you can't stand Napolean Dynamite). I'm also toying with the idea of emailing when new poems have been put up on 'tell me no lies' since it kind of gets lost in the shuffle of everything else... I dunno, tell me what you think and if interested, send me an email (godsbutterfli@gmail.com), or slap a comment on this, and make sure I have the email address that works best for you!
ok, that is all...

as the crows sing by nayla

Ne Pas De Boys?

It's official, I'm done with boys. Please don't worry, it's only temporary. Indefinite, but temporary. So as my friend Chantie has been saying, ne pas de boys! That's probably horrible French... we'll blame Chantie if it is.

Boys, there is nothing wrong with you; I'll make that disclaimer up front. This is not a frustration with you, or bitterness towards boys in general, but right now I'm meant to be single. It isn't as if I've dated a lot, in fact I've dated very, very little; but I have spent a lot of time looking for someone. God has been pressing on my heart the words, 'he's not here', when I first heard them I passed it off.. I passed it off as one of those fears that creep into your heart, like 'what if I never find anyone?' 'What if I die alone?' Or 'what if I become a cat lady?' But gradually I've come to accept those words (he's not here... I'm pretty sure I'll never accept any idea of becoming a cat lady). Often confessing or declaring something is a sign of accepting it; this post is the first time that I have declared or confessed that God has pressed those words on my heart. I think I've finally accepted them.

He's not here... I cannot tell you what exactly that is supposed to mean. Whether it means that I will not find anyone here throughout my time here, or whether he's not here right now. Whether I will have to wait until years from now, or whether it will be tomorrow. There are many explanations that my flexible mind could jump mental gymnastics around, but that is not the point of those words. Those words are meant to guide, not to confuse me or for me to analyze. I will admit there have been a few boys here this year that I have thought, 'hey, he's cool' (and I said it just like that), but there was always that nagging knowledge that nothing would happen, at least nothing that God would have me engage in (heh, I need to be careful how I use that word around Briercrest). I do have a feeling that this may, at the least, last throughout the summer; other than the fact that I don't think I'll meet many single boys in my age range between April to August. I know God has pressed it on my heart to stay in the cport this summer, I think he means for me to be here with as little distractions as possible (and the cport is a good place to get away from distractions). I think this summer will be God and I, and hopefully a job, having a very long serious chat. And I am very much done discussing my relational status... or lack there of, there are bigger things afoot.

In my life lately there has been quite a bit of battling, by God's grace I have been winning, but it is making me tired. Satan's been working overtime... there's been nothing new, but he's been pushing all kinds of buttons to see which one can hit a nerve. There have been temptations to worry about things I can't change (mainly finances), temptations to dwell on past mistakes or sorrows, and temptations to focus too much on what may come in the future (such as the hopeful change in relational status) and most certainly tempted to doubt self worth (oooh I could write a whole post and a half on that stupid thing.... in fact I think I have). Sound familiar? They're typical methods satan uses to wane on one's patience. There is nothing that tempts me that isn't common to all of us; I know God stands by my side, giving me the strength to endure through whatever may come my way, 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us this. Today was tough; I had a lot of studying to do, so I spent a lot of time in front of my computer, trying to hold off certain thoughts and distractions in order to focus on philosophy. And in the last week a lot of interesting situations have popped up, causing a lot of thoughts and questions... ponderings and concerns...

If you remember, please pray for me, we all need help and by remembering me in your prayers would help quite a bit. Heh... it's been awhile since I've written a proper post... a jo post as I think Dawn would call it... I hope this suffices.

bench in woods by indospan

alone?

I watched Shadowlands, so now I want your thoughts on something...

Do we read to know we're not alone?

Do we love to know we're not alone?

condition by J i m

Two unconnected thoughts...

So I read Ecclesiates for class the other day, and found something very interesting, the most qouted part of the book would definately be the beginnng part of chapter 3:

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--

A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?
I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. He has made everything appropriate in its time.

As I was reading the text book for the class the author made an interesting point, that this Scripture is more than often read in the understanding that there is a right moment for people to do things, he proposes that they mean just the reverse that "all moments are in the hands of God, who does them in a rhythm that is beyond human calculation."

anyhow, a completely different thought, more a musing that I thought I would share with you...

Why does it seem that either I am comtemplative, sad, maybe even depressed (or depressing) due to unfortunate circumstances or bubbling over in excitement to the point of embarrasment and foolishness due to favourable circumstances... I'm either happy and embarrasing myself or sad because I have done so... ah musings...

a loss for hope by handsinpantsdance
(some of these artists create the strangest names...)


I am a fool
yes, a loser too.
I've done it again,
gone and messed up.
Have lost sight of wisdom.

Even Solomon in the midst of despair,
still had some grip on wisdom.
Saying there is time
for every event
under heaven,

A time to be silent

and a time to speak.

But I am left struggling

having left wisdom behind

desperately tying to find
myself in the middle.

I am left to watch myself
practicing the very evil
that I do not wish.

Instead of seeing
and showing the good
that I so wish I would do.

But I am not the only one
who struggled with that.

Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

I just wish I could see
how I could possibly be
fearfully or wonderfully made.

I don't fear You
nearly enough.

For if I did
maybe I would
strive to align myself
with the image that I am
supposed to reflect a little more.

But it's not going to happen in an instant.
No I am not a complete loss for hope,
just wish I could do what I wish.
I am struggling to gain myself,
and leaving behind the fool.

when the tide goes out by rustajb

Got.. to.. shake.. Bridal Quest mindset...

well spring fever is beginning to hit, but I'm not jaded or bitter (...no that doesn't mean I am going to be participating in this years hook up fever...). I've even running around singing/humming "Love Song for No One" and smirking to myself. There is no one except Hume and Kant to keep me engaged, though I'm hardly alone on a Friday. Well at least not this Friday, my peeps keep me company and I am even going to have waffles with a friend tonight. Life is pretty much the same, though many things have been weighing on my mind, God is stretching me, more so than usual...

"Love Song For No One"

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

take my hand
by devilicious

It occurs to me that we should beware of those who have the appearance of being oblivious or unobservant. They often know more than they let on. It also occurs to me that those who seem to be knowledgeable are often just as lost as the person who seems to be oblivious...

Ok, I haven't posted in awhile, the masses have begun to stir, to grumble... it makes a girl feel so loved... many things have happened and yet I am uncertain of what to tell you.
School work keeps me busy, I've got assignments scattered all the way through the semester (so instead of a crazy couple of weeks I'm steadily busy most of the time). Classes are going well, keeping on top of everything, and am almost done with a blasted DL that seems to go on forever. Work is work, I average around 12 hours a week, nothing big but it covers the rent.

Beka moved in at the beginning of the semester, the house is a little more lively with a third occupant, and the boys from Free Brygmann built a snow citadel in our (as they like to call it since they really don't have one) front yard.





I've been hanging around with the boys from Grace Abbey (which is just across the road) and also some boys down the road. I do have to say I find these people not only to be very cool and deep, but also absolutely hilarious. God once again has blessed me with more fantastic friends.

It was day of prayer this past Tuesday, which was needed. The week before I had been going through some spiritual struggles, things like being over concerned with money issues, questioning a lot of things like what I am really doing here... but there were a few worrying concerns on my mind, and as I prayed over those things God warned me that something big was coming... of course it is interesting how something can happen without us realizing how very important it really was... anyhow as I was praying on Tuesday I was asking Him to talk to me, since I was supposed to be waiting on God and hurrying to listen to Him. As I prayed the words, 'wait, just wait' were the only answer He gave me. He's spoken those exact words to me before... actually it was about this time last year... Anyhow, He's holding my hand and I am constantly reminded that I am His little girl. And that, everybody, is what is up with me. Maybe someday soon I will come out with some fresh rant or deep thought to tickle your brain with...